something you miss

I miss the days when you were nothing
Like a dad to me.
When you didn't care what I thought
Or how I felt.
Before you tried speding time with me
And keeping me happy.
When your life was all about my brothers
And my mother and
There was no room left for me.
Before you made an excess of room
All just for me.

I miss the days when you didn't
Take me fishing.
When you didn't spend money
On everything I might
Or might not want.
When you didn't care if I was going
To Heaven or to Hell.
When nothing mattered
When it came to me.

I miss the times I could simply hide away
In my room with a book
And some music playing in the back
And i'd actually be away from everything.
When you didn't take me fishing or
Roller skating or
Sleding.
When you didn't take me for drives
Or have long talks or
Pick out guitars for me.

Because....
You're not him.
You're not my dad.
You'll never. Never. Replace him.
But....
It feels like you are.
You do everything better....
You act like you care....
More than I can say for---
No.
You. Are. Not. Him.
And I don't want you to be.
So please....
Let everything go back.
Back to when you were an insignificant
Piece to my
Insignificant life.